Carol Scrooge, the curmudgeonly owner of a sleazy skin publication, insists that her employees work on Christmas. However, on Christmas eve, Miss Scrooge is visited by three ghosts, each of whom shows her a different vision of Christmas, from Carol's lurid past of sexually manipulating her childhood friends to the meager Christmas celebrations of her present-day employee, Bob Hatchet and his wife, to a terrifying and sleazy vision of Christmas yet to come; each visit is infused with a barrel of laughs and a valuable lesson about the importance of giving and holiday spirit.

A nice guy turns murderous after undergoing a penis transplant.

The daughter of a poverty-stricken New England clamdigger falls in love with the son of her father's rival. His family, in turn, wants him to marry the daughter of a wealthy and prominent family. Complications ensue.

While hosting a masked orgy, socialite Scarlet is murdered by an unknown killer. Hired to investigate the case is put upon private dick Dexter Sleuth, who immediately takes to interviewing the soiree’s various guests.