Carol Scrooge, the curmudgeonly owner of a sleazy skin publication, insists that her employees work on Christmas. However, on Christmas eve, Miss Scrooge is visited by three ghosts, each of whom shows her a different vision of Christmas, from Carol's lurid past of sexually manipulating her childhood friends to the meager Christmas celebrations of her present-day employee, Bob Hatchet and his wife, to a terrifying and sleazy vision of Christmas yet to come; each visit is infused with a barrel of laughs and a valuable lesson about the importance of giving and holiday spirit.

Following her suicide, middle-aged Justine finds herself at the threshold to hell. In order to fully earn her forthcoming destiny, she pleads with guardian Abaca to grant her a reprieve. He agrees and sends Justine on her journey through a missed lifetime of sensual pleasures.

Melvin lives a boring life, running an antique shop and sneaking off to 42nd Street to watch dirty movies, while dreaming that he too may some day seduce a woman. One afternoon, he finds a strange old urn that, when rubbed a special way, unleashes a genie capable of satisfying his every wish.