Terrorists seize an American nuclear missile site and threaten to launch the missiles at Washington unless the President resigns immediately and $1 billion is placed in a Swiss account in 8 hours.

Greed, lust, dirty tricks and bloody fist fights... All those things that make life worth living. When Piper and Rick, the two hottest properties in the Battle of the Bands want to make it, only one thing stands in their way. They're from opposing High Schools. And Malibu High's 6'6" muscle-bound monster Godzilla is going to do everything and anything stop his sweet little sister getting it on with some jerk from the Coldwater Canyon High. When all else fails, only Lovelines answering service can keep them together.

After two archaeologists discover an ancient alien artifact in Africa, they must run for their lives from both the unstoppable guardian and protector that awakens as a result, and their greedy, madman employer, both of whom want the artifact.