a review of Transylvania 6-5000

ℍ𝕆𝕆ℙ𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔼ℝ 𝔼𝕃𝔼𝕍𝔼ℕ ℕ𝕀𝔾ℍ𝕋 𝕋ℍ𝕀ℝ𝕋𝕐-𝕋ℍℝ𝔼𝔼: Based on comments I've seen on social media the last few weeks, this movie seems to have its defenders, which I have to assume happened through decades of re-airings on basic cable building a certain familiarity, like most cult films. But on a first watch, this thing (co-produced by the Dow Chemical corporation, look it up!) feels so rough that it seems less like a movie and more like an extended series of improv skits (acted out by some genuinely funny people) that nonetheless need some serious workshopping. Clearly the dynamic that the filmmakers were going for was the old Abbott & Costello/Universal Monsters comedies, combined with maybe a dash of the Hope & Crosby "ROAD TO..." pictures. But they even screwed that up by casting Goldblum as the straight-man to Begley's goofball, which to me fundamentally misunderstands what these actors do best. The rest of the cast is similarly adrift, especially Carol Kane and Geena Davis; They both seem game to play in the space, but the movie (and their costars) give them basically nothing to work with.