Let me preface this by saying that I love the first Silent Hill movie. I also wasn’t looking for a one-to-one recreation of the game’s plot here. Heck, I’ll even confess that I somewhat enjoy Revelation for its fanservice. Consequently, I’d been looking forward to this movie for what feels like a very long time. ESPECIALLY due to Christophe Gans returning to direct. I get many members of the fanbase have their problems with the guy that they constantly repeat VERBATIM every time his name is brought up as if they all make up some extremely petty, severely autistic hivemind, but typically even the most jaded among them will admit that the French auteur nailed the visuals and tone of the franchise to deliver an experience that genuinely feels like watching someone play the source material onscreen, even if he didn’t quite get the plot right. He certainly brings back that same visual panache to this standalone follow-up. Return’s greatest strength is undoubtedly how good it looks. The far darker, much more industrial portrayal of the iconic “Otherworld” bares a stronger resemblance to the PS1 classic’s as opposed to any of its sequels, and the constant stylistic flourishes such as the creative camera angles—particularly during the energetic chase sequences which comprise the bulk of the traditional “action”—pair with the often striking monster designs to create appropriately abrasive, uncomfortable imagery that only bolsters the surreal vibe. A vibe itself that is being enhanced thanks to the cast’s performances expertly recapturing the unsettling, dreamlike unnaturalness of their in-game counterparts. Unfortunately the biggest complaint that gets leveled against Gans as a filmmaker is that while he is able to make undeniably striking treats for the eyes, the narratives of his works often leave a lot to be desired. Nowhere has that been more evident than here. The purists who deemed his changes to the property’s established lore in the original as unnecessary at best are guaranteed to be absolutely enraged from the very first second this begins, as the film literally opens with James racing down the road in a Mustang convertible whilst smoking a blunt. What’s worse? Those open to a new twist on the story aren’t likely to fare any better. This a confounding and ultimately deeply silly reimagining of the legendary survival-horror title. I remember in the promotional material leading up to this that Gans said he would placing a greater emphasis on the psychological side of the Silent Hill brand this time around. A certainly intriguing prospect given the series’ pedigree, yet he and his fellow cowriters utterly botched the execution. This winds up being one of those that leaves you completely perplexed in a “what the !@#$%&* am I watching?” sort of way for the majority of its runtime. It’s weird enough to keep you engaged, but the problem with this approach is that its success is totally dependent on the strength of its big reveals, and my word are they stupid here to the degree that I was left staring at the theater screen irritated, baffled as to why this was the direction they chose to go, and in pure disbelief. The end results are less Jacob’s Ladder 1990, and tragically more Jacob’s Ladder 2019. The whole cult element also goes woefully unexplained (it’s never clear what the freaks are even doing) and the manner in which the conclusion tries to merge aspects from a couple of the game’s possible outcomes with a popular longstanding fan theory is honestly kind of insulting. Despite being often enthralled with the grim beauty of the sights on display, I can’t think of anyone I would truly recommend this to. Silent Hill 2 lovers? Nope, my inner one wept. Fellow appreciators of the first movie? Can’t, since they’ll be just as crushed as I was. General horror enthusiasts? Nah, this is more likely to make them laugh than scream. I was legitimately the target audience for this and I walked away nothing short of very disappointed. Man, The Mortuary Assistant, Mortal Kombat II, Cregger’s Resident Evil, and Street Fighter really need to deliver, because between this, The Minecraft Movie, Five Nights at Freddy’s 2, and Iron Lung not looking so great, it seems like we may be returning to the days of abominable video game adaptations. Hurry back Sonic, we need you buddy.