Imagine being a kid in 1978. Star Wars just took over the world the year prior and left you desperately wanting more. So when you catch wind there's going to be a new holiday special that features the actual cast from the movie that's going to be broadcasted straight to your living room for free? Why, that's a bonafide Christmas miracle! You anxiously await the big day with bated breath and when it finally arrives this turd starts playing. It's a wonder the franchise didn't die right then and there. Things start off deceptively good with Han Solo and Chewbacca dodging fire from Star Destroyers in the Millennium Falcon before that classic Star Wars theme starts playing and the screen cuts away to words that are imbedded in the minds of every fan "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away." It's hard to not get chills and you just know you're in for a good time. At least that's what you think. Next thing you know you're in a treehouse on Kashyyyk with Chewie's Wookie family awkwardly growling at each other and it is BOOOOORING. Unfortunately, this where the majority of the special takes place. Every now and then someone like Carrie Fisher or Mark Hamill will show up for a brief cameo, or we'll get to see Harrison Ford shoot down some TIE fighters for a few seconds, but for the most part the only times we're allowed to get away from these annoying and unintelligible walking carpets is when one of the bizarre variety show segments is taking place. These are usually either extremely misguided attempts to be funny that wildly miss the mark (and end up disturbing the viewer more than anything), or an overly long musical performance. The only one that's any good is the animated short that introduced audiences to the cooler-in-appearance-than-he-ever-actually-ended-up-being Boba Fett and features an art style reminiscent of 1981's Heavy Metal and Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars series. Everything else is dull, borderline painful, and frightening. About the only thing this special gets right is the production quality. The sets, special effects, and costumes are darn near on the same level as the movies. Which is to say they blow away anything else that was on TV in the '70s. Showing that even at its lowest point Star Wars NEVER phoned it in when it came to visuals. Of all the weird, shoddy products that have been crapped out onto the market so that this undeniable gold mine of a property can be exploited for every seemingly endless cent possible, this is by far the worst. It's hard to really put into words what makes it so awful because a lot of this has to be seen to be believed. Suffice to say, there are some corners of the Star Wars that should have never have been explored and the Wookie's seasonal "Life Day" was one of them. I don't even understand what the whole Life Day thing was supposed to be after watching this anyways.