3/10
The 9th Charnel IGDB
2026年1月30日
类型: 益智 / 冒险 平台: Windows / PlayStation 5 / Xbox Series X|S 开发者: Saikat Deb Creations 出版发行: SOEDESCO Publishing
A first-person survival horror game, The 9th Charnel is filled with a rich and frightening atmosphere. While exploring the many mysteries of this world, you must survive- whether you do it through stealth or by using weapons.
2026年4月9日 玩过
2026年4月29日 评论 Actual "Slop" - Brace yourselves my fellow gamers and pray to whatever deity you recognize: the ultimate asset flip slop is upon us. I don’t even like to call stuff “slop” because it’s one of those overused buzzwords uncreative dolts slap onto anything they personally disapprove of regardless of its actual level of quality, but in this case there’s no better way to describe The 9th Charnel. This incredibly linear, 2-to-3 hour survival-horror adventure comes off more as a tech demo intended to show that something can be created entirely with crap purchased from the Unreal Engine Marketplace than it does a fully-realized game. Seriously, it’s a glorified proof of concept that solo indie dev Saikat Deb could have shopped around to secure funding for a more substantial project that’s instead inexplicably being sold for $30 USD on home consoles! And before you say anything, NO, this should not get any sort of pass just because it was made by a single person. The laundry list of flaws and shortcomings you’ll encounter here aren’t the result of inexperience, minimal resources, or a low budget, but rather a noticeable lack of effort from its creator. It doesn’t take long to realize that the dude’s goal at some point simply became to get something that’s halfway functional out the door in order to make a quick buck. Honestly, it became clear to me during the very first playable sequence where I immediately got stuck looking for the “key” I was told was needed to open the locked gate in front of me, only to discover that by “key” what the game actually meant was the inconspicuous handwheel I wouldn’t have ever noticed had I not resorted to awkwardly humping every piece of geometry in the narrow environment in a desperate bid to find anything that would allow me to progress. That’s not the only momentum-halting issue like that I ran into either. At one point I genuinely thought the whole thing broke on me as I seemingly couldn’t interact with a crucial computer. It wasn’t until I started desperately mashing each button on the controller that I learned it bafflingly requires a completely different input than literally everything else you’ll need to engage with—before or after—does. Heck, I frequently struggled to grab critical items out of drawers as targeting problems would repeatedly cause me to close them again as opposed to taking what was inside, which naturally leads to a lot of frustration in the instances where you’re being chased by foes at the same time. As if having to regularly contend with that type of crap wasn’t proof enough that not a lot of care went into crafting this experience, the core moment-to-moment gameplay itself is tragically half-baked and lazy in execution as well. Good ol’ Deb didn’t bother to make encounters with monsters interesting, tense, or engaging in the slightest, as you can legitimately crawl into a locker or under a bed right before one’s eyes and it will almost instantly forget about your existence before wandering back to its programmed patrol path. The puzzles meanwhile are basic, uninspired junk he clearly just bought from some pack, and the introduction of guns for the final few levels falls woefully flat thanks to the fact that every ammo pickup gives you 100 bullets despite there not being anywhere near that many enemies across the entire runtime. I guess because that was much less work than creating the need for players to carefully manage their resources. That would’ve required, like, making sure things were thoughtfully balanced and whatnot… In case you were wondering, the presentation doesn’t fare much better. The attempt to cut a few corners by using MetaHuman Creator has led to some very ugly character models and the most ridiculous facial animations I’ve seen to date. It would also be tempting to say that the bulk of the writing was probably done by AI given how nonsensical the plot and unnatural the dialogue is, were I not convinced ChatGPT could’ve spun a more cohesive tale out of the various horror tropes being poorly utilized here. You’ve got everything from creepy cults to science experiments gone wrong paired alongside a wannabe philosophical quest for God and themes of absentee fathers with no discernible connection tying them all together in a coherent manner. I did get a bit of amusement out of the wildly over-the-top accents voice actress Shelley Ross does for a couple of the roles she took on, and the 2D .jpg of a pair of arms holding a firearm that awkwardly floats onscreen when equipping a weapon as opposed to the protagonist’s actual appendages, but not to the degree that the overall package becomes an ironically entertaining source of unintentional comedy à la Stray Souls. Consequently, the single praise I can give this mess is that it has an extremely easy Platinum, which may make it worth a rental for the most hardcore trophy hunters wanting to add another to their collection. Other than that, the sole reason I would even remotely recommend this to people would be so that they could see something that can accurately qualify as “slop” in the hope that they will learn to stop throwing that word around with reckless abandon. 3/10
3/10
偷心女盗 (2019) 豆瓣 IMDb 维基数据 TMDB
The Hustle
5.2 (84 个评分) 导演: 克里斯·艾迪生 演员: 安妮·海瑟薇 / 蕾蓓尔·威尔森
其它标题: The Hustle / 圆美大盗(港)
潘妮(瑞贝尔·威尔森 Rebel Wilson 饰)拥有聪慧过人的头脑,却遗憾心宽体胖,因此在行骗的道路上屡屡碰壁。一次偶然中,她遇见了另一个名为约瑟芬(安妮·海瑟薇 Anne Hathaway 饰)的同行,约瑟芬肤白如雪发洁如缎,就连身位同性的潘妮也忍不住多看两眼。在经历了一番死缠烂打之后,约瑟芬答应收潘妮为徒。
一次偶然中,潘妮和约瑟芬邂逅了一个名为托马斯(艾利克斯·夏普 Alex Sharp 饰)的英俊男人,这个男人正在为自己的企划寻找合伙人。两个女人决定来一场比赛,看看谁能够获得托马斯的信任,可随着计划一步一步的深入后,她们发现,托马斯并不是表面上看起来的那么呆。
2026年2月12日 不看了
3/10
乌龙保镖 (2008) 豆瓣 IMDb 维基数据 TMDB
Witless Protection
导演: 查尔斯·罗伯特·卡纳 演员: 王牌接线员拉里 / 理查德·布尔
其它标题: Witless Protection / 위틀리스 프로텍션
拉里(王牌接线员拉里 Larry The Cable Guy 饰)从小就有着壮阔的英雄梦,帅气的拿着手枪追捕四处逃窜的犯人是常常在他梦中出现的景致,因此,他成为了一名小镇治安官。可是,现实是这样的无奈,自拉里上任以来,小镇上不仅没有发生过一起犯罪事件,甚至连个陌生人的影子都没有。
一次偶然中,拉里遇见了四个神秘的黑衣人,在他们中间拥簇着的,是一个神情紧张的美女。直觉告诉拉里,有些阴谋正在发酵,而这个楚楚可怜的美女显然就是受害者。拉里意气风发的从黑衣人的手中“救出”了美女,可这位美女却并没有如拉里所想的那样因获救而感恩。是拉里做错了什么,还是其中另有隐情?现在唯一可以确定的是,拉里平静乏味的生活即将终结。
2019年4月5日 看过
2019年4月5日 评论 a review of 乌龙保镖 - Leagues better than Health Inspector , but another example of how poorly Larry the Cable Guy's juvenile brand of southern humor translates from stand-up to film. On top of being painfully unfunny it's also poorly made. Looking more like a made-for-TV movie than something that was released in theaters. Aside from a blatantly racist verbal assault made on Gerry Bednob and the casual objectification of it's female characters, this is notably less offensive and in better taste than Health Inspector . The comedy isn't any smarter though. The jokes still boil down to a bunch of bodily function and gross out gags, but at least we're not suffering through watching Larry ridicule the handicapped and homosexual. You can tell the original intention was for Ivana Miličević to be Larry's love interest, but the writers dropped the ball by including Jenny McCarthy's character, who I'm convinced is only here as an excuse to make the "big-titted and quick-witted" joke. Having her play as Larry's girlfriend backed them into a corner so the creepy Stockholm syndrome romance that would have otherwise been here mercifully never comes into fruition. He still tries to woo Miličević though and it's awkward and uncomfortable to watch. The plot is needlessly convoluted and riddled with gaps in logic. It starts off with the simple premise of delivering a witness to Chicago while dodging crooked FBI agents, but then blows up to include some weird scenarios involving faking a death and playing sports with the guy trying to kill them to gain his trust or something. I don't know. I had kind of already lost interest by the time all that stuff started to happen so it made less sense to me than it otherwise would have. The one highlight of the movie is Peter Stormare. Who appears to be having a blast hamming it up with a faux accent as the film's big baddie. His talents are wasted here. Fans of Larry the Cable Guy's stand-up specials are better off watching The Blue Collar Comedy Tour again. Turns out actually watching him fart isn't as amusing as hearing him talk about farting. The whole country boy out of his depth setup is of course just an excuse to throw shade at northerners and the movie was ahead of its time in ranting about liberals. All of which might have been more forgivable had any of it been clever. Instead it's lazy and boring.
3/10