(life cycle) - 生命週期 Bandcamp
b e g o t t e n 自杀
发布日期 2018年3月12日
CLICK 'MORE' AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS TEXT FOR THE FULL STORY OF THIS ALBUM.
"Lay me down and close my eyes. Send me off into the night."
In the final days of fall, I created a thread on a vaporwave forum in efforts to find new artists for my label: Geometric Lullaby. As quickly as it was created, it was closed. I received quite a few responses but one in particular stood out among the rest. I immediately deleted the post after that.
An email from someone claiming to be from Azerbaijan, a small country just north of Iran, caught my eye for a few reasons. It seems the artist had already set up their own bandcamp with all of the covers and album names. Each without the actual music, only the text that I received in their description. You can see it here:
The first reason this all caught my eye is that that I was sent 6 full albums, all at once, each linked in the initial email.
Secondly, the imagery and the music videos. Each of the albums had paired with it, multiple music videos. These videos were eerie, haunting, dreamy, and still somehow beautiful. How this artist managed to make them so relaxing but still put me on edge baffles me to this day.
Third, the text sent with the emails was so bizarre, I just didn't know what to make of it. Each album had the title listed and track names (all of which included chinese) and a block of chinese text. I am still unable to understand the meaning of this text, or the reason for the chinese language if they truly are from Azerbaijan. Some of it translates to almost a suicide note, while other parts sound like a story that I can't quite piece together. If you can decipher any of it that may help me understand, please, email me at the label address.
But also included was some of the most heart-wrenching poetry that I've ever read. If you go to the artist's bandcamp, you can read each of them right now, along with the album covers and titles. A lot of them are hard to read. They sound like someone who is in a dark place in their life. All of this intrigued me without hearing any of the albums in full, but that was when I got excited.
The last reason, and most important, was the music itself. Take away all of the imagery, the poetry, and the bizarre song titles, and you still will find an amazing collection of albums.
This music is dreamy and atmospheric. It is haunting and yet relaxing. It is eerie but beautiful all at the same time. But most of all, it is extremely sad. I found myself listening to every album, all 6, from front to back twice as soon as I started them. And to this moment, these have become some of my favorite vaporwave albums of all time. I even sent some of my friends a private link to listen and they got angry when I took it down a month later as they said they often went back to it for listening.
The samples selected tell a dark and depressive story, set against the backdrop of unbearable loneliness. And not only are the sounds and the chords selected and manipulated with perfection (the part choices, pitching, and speed all work together so well), the lyrics that were chosen are spot on. I get chills just thinking about this collection of albums. As they go, they evolve and change, some more haunting while others like a dream of a love that never was. And so I knew I had to be the one to release them.
After three full months of attempting to contact the artist with my layout ideas for their albums and such, I finally got reply. It read, "Please release. Send me address."
I immediately compiled everything I needed and sent the first album off for dubbing. When I got it back, I've got to say, it turned out wonderful. Best sounding cassette I have heard in a while.
My doubts about their location lessened when a mysterious package arrived in my mailbox, addressed from, where else, but Azerbaijan. The box contained only 25 copies of a J-card, each with the word "Death" scribbled on the front. I will be sending these with the first album only. I am unsure if I will ever receive anything else from this artist, so if you want one, make sure not to wait too long.
Are these albums an intricate call for help? I just sincerely hope that this person is okay. They have created something unique and have a perspective on things that I can really connect with. I feel selfish, but I want more albums and expression from this individual. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I.
So here is the text released with the first album, (life cycle) - 生命週期
"If love is a gift then I am luckier than most
I am showered with more than anyone could hope
Only I cannot accept them with open arms or a smile
I push everyone away from me, neverending denial
It hurts to exist
It is painful to live
My wrists show the struggle of my emptiness
Just once I want to express myself right
To be honest to those who deserve so and cry
To bleed my own blood not for me, not my life
But someone who needs it, just once before I die
No more lies...
And when I'm gone from this life, I'll look down in surpise
The world keeps on turning, not a cloud in the sky
Without me it's better and less filled with hate
Because now I am gone, buried deep in a grave." - b e g o t t e n 自杀
"Lay me down and close my eyes. Send me off into the night."
我真的很想去杀我自己，因为没有人需要我在这里，没有人要我在这里，没人在乎，我没有在线离线的朋友，我不爱我的家人，没有任何人理解我，我是一个失败，只是浪费钱/食物，更多我可以列出
所以我在这个旅行的合唱团，但是是夏天，但有像冬天般的天气。旅游地点有点糟糕，因为我曾经住过（约3000人，充满吸毒者）。我记得走到温迪的一个场所（没有我住过的地方），但这个标志就像“老兵酒吧”那样庆祝老将。我走进去，我没有钱，也没有我的朋友，但是一位老太太说：“哦，我不在乎，你还会在这么美好的一天去冰淇淋。”然后我被我的合唱团中的男中音拉开，我完全迷失在感觉像一个梦幻般的颜色和建筑物的模糊。
我所说的是冬季天气的原因是因为在上一部分末尾的幽灵段下雨，我用身体遮挡我的东西在雨中不被弄湿。即使这次旅行持续了几个小时，我想（不记得有关旅行的细节，也没有看到我的老师或任何同学以外的男高音和男中音）。我终于得到了不公平的，在一条我很熟悉的街道上。我头脑里有一个想法：我要去这个城里的朋友家去拜访，这是我去过他们家的唯一的朋友，和他一起睡觉。所以当我到了他的房子（我像火影忍者那样跑了30分钟，而不是坐公共汽车），到了他的房子，他是真的不同。有意义的是，我想：“在3.5年的时间里，我们分开了，我发现了一种幽默幽默感，他有一种脚痛，痴迷于水獭”
但等等还有更多
我进了他的房子，他没有像上次那样的狗，但他比以前有5个兄弟姐妹。我记得的是，我问他的父母在哪里，他的父亲说“哦，Skyler发现如何把自己变成水獭，所以他在浴室里有一些”私人时间“，这对他来说非常伤心”，而我可以听到非常非常大声的浴室呻吟声。我在汗水中醒来，低声想死
Each album is tagged with "hushwave" as well as the title to the second album. I'm not sure if this is the genre they've come up with for their sound, but to me, it fits perfectly.
Here is a link to the first music video on vapor memory:
Second Music Video:
Album limited to 50 copies (first 25 with the "signed" extra jcard)
The remaining 5 albums will be released over time in limited quantities.I am unsure if I will ever receive anything else from this artist, so if you want one, make sure not to wait too long.
