咪尾s - 标记
要有光 豆瓣
7.0 (7 个评分) 作者: 梁鸿 中信出版社 2025 - 9
本书是非虚构代表作家梁鸿继“梁庄三部曲”之后,沉淀 5年,又一具有现实意义的非虚构作品。
梁鸿把写作对象投向那些被困住的少年——因为情绪问题而失学、休学在家的孩子以及在退学和抑郁边缘挣扎的孩子。她用了三年时间,足迹踏遍超大城市、中等城市、县城和农村,走进家庭、学校、社会教育机构和精神医疗机构,沉浸式采访孩子、父母、教师、医生与心理咨询师,记录他们真实的声音,试图呈现出当代中国青少年的心理图景。
在这些生命故事中,我们看到敏敏在痛苦后依然努力寻找自己内核的光彩,看到雅雅希望自己的经历能给他人信心,看到吴用提醒我们必须学会在创伤中前行、在破碎与错位中相互理解……这些都是真实而神圣的时刻,是生命因为理解和关注而闪现的光亮。
《要有光》是一种追问:我们是否在日常的话语、表情与行为中,制造了看不见的创伤?在文化与观念的深层,又有多少习焉不察的惯性,正在背离我们对孩子的爱?
这本书写给孩子,也写给父母,以及生活在大地上的每一个人。我们都需要勇气与希望,去倾听彼此的呼唤,去守护那些努力走出泥淖、渴望春天的少年。
2026年2月20日 已读
通勤路上哭得稀里哗啦,想推荐给所有中国家长和中国小孩。吴用的那个章节我特别能共鸣,差不多的体验,差不多的爹妈,我觉得他的独白甚至比作者写的更好。我和吴用一样接受了再也没有和家长情感共振的可能,也不再期待真正的交流,在我想修复关系的时候,家长放弃了我,于是我也早就放弃了家长。可家长步入老年后突然冲到我面前说,我不准你放弃我们。到了家长孩子两边都能理解的年纪,抛开家庭本身的代际创伤,社会结构造成的焦虑像击鼓传花,从社会和教育系统传到家长,再传到孩子,最后撑不住的那一环成了被责怪的对象。书中地名、人名几乎都用了化名,唯有衡水的影子太突出了,盖都盖不住。我给爹妈也买了一本,妈妈说太压抑了,好像读不下去的样子。压抑吗?好像她从未旁观过一样。
活着本来单纯 豆瓣
8.8 (9 个评分) 作者: 丰子恺 江苏凤凰文艺出版社 2016 - 10
丰子恺散文漫画精品集(全新精装收藏本)。女儿丰一吟授权版本,全面收录《渐》《大账簿》《梦痕》《给孩子们》等55篇经典佳作,一本书阅尽丰子恺散文精华。漫画原版复制,典雅可爱,采用特种纸印刷,色彩雅致,触感温润,可堪赏玩。有趣、 有心、有情的人生哲学。
在心情低谷时翻看,给人以温暖与悲悯;在事情顺境时闲读,又像一阵凉夜清风,不至昏头脑。
不要因为世界太复杂,而背叛了你的单纯。
• 活着这回事,本来是如此单纯。
• 所谓单纯,不是幼稚的天真,而是一种超越了世故,知道人世间种种矛盾、种种问题,种种细微的心理计较。但超过这一层,一种超乎其上的平视,达观看待这个世界,然后游戏其间。这是非常豁达的心胸,一种超越的态度和智慧。
• 敬畏 * 宁静 * 智慧 * 美
2026年2月1日 已读
读起来很舒服的随笔散文集,以前只看过他的画,不知道他文笔也这么生动。读着读着会想起九年义务教育的语文课本读物,不同之处在于,现在不需要被迫分析中心思想,也不用带着放大镜去观察作者表达了什么思乡之情,读起来才真觉得畅快自然,活着本来单纯啊。观察之细腻,文笔之流畅,太过瘾了。如果当时也能联网,丰子恺肯定能随手嘟出一个名家博客专栏。
不原谅也没关系 豆瓣 Goodreads
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
8.4 (74 个评分) 作者: [美]皮特•沃克 译者: 严菲菲 北京科技技术出版社 2023 - 1
★第一本针对复杂性创伤后压力综合征的自我疗愈完全指南
★全球数十万读者推崇的心理疗愈经典
★全面的分类与说解,直接点破易被忽略的心理创伤
★提供有效、可行的焦虑与压力缓解方案
★值得反复研读的教科书级别的作品
创伤事件不仅仅包括偶发的、严重的刺激性事件(如战争、天灾、恐怖事件),还包括在成长过程中遭受的羞辱、贬低、欺凌、背叛、情感忽视、过度控制等伤害。这些伤害或许你难以诉说,但带来的创伤却可能远甚于单一事件。
有太多的人因为忽略了这样成长过程中的创伤,“莫名”地产生了人际关系障碍、情绪上的痛苦,甚至被误诊为边缘型人格障碍、自恋型人格障碍、焦虑症、抑郁症、强迫症……
本书作者皮特•沃克是享誉国际的创伤疗愈大师。他曾患有严重的复杂性创伤后压力综合征(CPTSD),根据自身的疗愈经历和三十多年作为心理治疗师的从业经验,他写下了这本经典之作。在书中,他深度剖析了CPTSD的起因、症状和类型,并提供了有效的自我疗愈工具,以帮助读者打破在情绪、思维与身体层面的恶性循环。这种完整、系统的多元化疗法,让读者更容易看清自己的状况,突破盲点,取得疗愈进展。
本书受到了创伤患者极高的评价,同时也作为宝贵的工具为心理工作者所采用。
不是所有的伤害,都应该得到原谅。
摆脱束缚,治愈创伤,
你受过伤,但你不必继续痛。
2026年1月26日 已读
很多内容是咨询师们说过的,所以对我来说新知没有期待中多,反而像是梳理曾经的诊疗历程。不知道是不是翻译的问题,有些章节读起来觉得很啰嗦,不知道看原版体验是否更好。如果说咨询师当年解决的是我理解自己的问题,这本书意外地给我提供了很多理解他人的视角。书里说有的人交朋友不是交朋友,而是抓犯人,认为自己坚持的主观标准是客观真理。哈哈,确实,好在已经cut off了那些特别judgemental的人,也不用为了和对方保持关系而被迫参与judge第三人的游戏,心里舒服多了。当然,我cut off后,我肯定成了对方心里的犯人,不过那咋了,又能怎,关我屁事了哈哈
动物农场 谷歌图书 豆瓣
Animal Farm
9.4 (632 个评分) 作者: [英] 乔治·奥威尔 译者: 荣如德 上海译文出版社 2007 - 3
《动物农场》是奥威尔最优秀的作品之一,是一则入木三分的反乌托的政治讽喻寓言。
农场的一群动物成功地进行了一场“革命”,将压榨他们的人类东家赶出农场,建立起一个平等的动物社会。然而,动物领袖,那些聪明的猪们最终却篡夺了革命的果实,成为比人类东家更加独裁和极权的统治者。
2025年11月25日 已读
辞职的writer同事因英语写作而推荐的,看了几段原版片段,被用词深深折服,微言大义啊,可惜英文版还没借到,所以先看了中文版。通勤读物,看完抹泪去上班了(内心尖叫)
如果父母老后难相处 豆瓣
Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent
7.4 (7 个评分) 作者: [美] 格雷丝·勒博 / [美] 芭芭拉·凯恩 译者: 刘慧玉 后浪丨四川人民出版社 2020
如何陪伴他们走过晚年,而不再彼此伤害?
最健康的陪伴心态,最务实的应对建议
面对难相处的父母 读这一本书就够了!
◎ 编辑推荐
在这个快速发展又变幻莫测的世界里,你或许一直在努力跟上时代的步伐,希望活出最好的自己。
然而,父母却经常在毫无保留地爱你的过程里失去了自我。身体机能衰退已让人无比沮丧,他们还要接受自身观念落后和失去家庭话语权的残酷现实。父母可能变得小心翼翼、失落、沉默,可能因害怕孤单而对你有诸多要求,也可能以一种惯性的关爱模式,试图进入你的生活,干涉一切……这份爱让人心疼,也成为负担,让你无奈,让你抓狂,让你无所适从。
但是,谁更有机会改变呢?
趁一切还来得及,给自己一个与父母好好相处的机会吧。
☆ 与年长父母相处的实用指南
本书聚焦两代相处难题,帮助身心疲惫的你建立更健康的陪伴心态,为深感焦灼的你提供更务实的应对建议。
作者归纳出六大类型父母行为模式,并以调查问卷的形式帮读者评估“父母是否真的难相处”。25个经典案例以父母的问题行为和子女的应对模式展开,在反思和梳理清楚立场和原因后,作者会带你以富有智慧的语言范式进入情景演练。案例之间环环相扣,不管父母是老后难相处,还是持续一生的人格模式,书中都有贴切的应对策略和温馨小贴士。也许你会获得摆脱恶性循环的力量,也会还会变得更爱父母呢。
☆ 作者有丰富的临床经验
两位作者皆为资历超过30年的社工师,接触过很多类型的“问题父母”。阅读本书,首先获得的就是一种平和的心态:意识到原来有那么多人跟你有同样的处境,会让你感到如释重负。其次就是身临其境的感受,熟悉的语言和行为模式出自作者的看护经历,因此你会看到更有针对性的建议而非宽泛的理论和模糊的概念。
☆ 成年子女视角
面对难相处的父母,请先训练自己的同理心。了解父母看似“麻烦行为”的根源,往往是内心深处的孤独和痛苦。然后运用这层理解,改善你与父母的相处方式。重新认识父母的“自作主张”和不被接受的“为你好”,审视自己的沟通模式;同时以平和的心态陪父母面对老年课题,也接纳自己的不完美,父母很难改变,但你可以选择和他们不同的道路,尽力照顾好未来的自己,学习优雅地变老……
◎ 内容简介
这是一本来自专业人士的与年长父母相处指南,两位作者有30年以上的老人看护经验,面对过许多难相处的父母,他们会帮助你与家中长辈实现更顺畅的沟通。本书针对一些复杂案例提供了中肯的建议,还有关于“如何陪父母面对老年课题”和“如何陪自己优雅变老”的贴心指南。也许你不能完全改变父母,但至少可以从愤怒、懊悔、内疚、自责的恶性循环中逃脱出来,学会接受这一切,尽可能照顾好他们的晚年生活,并不再步父母后尘……
2025年11月18日 已读
解决办法不太符合国情,因为社会资源还没跟上。反倒是很帮助和父母之外的人相处,因为有些问题是通用的,不仅是父母才有的。比如有的人就是无法开怀地拥抱快乐,又要为自己的不幸寻找替罪羊,而那往往就是身旁的亲密的人,他们不会处理自己的情绪,只会用种种毫无建设性的方式宣泄,结果雪上加霜。也有人自己的需求大到无力去管他人,他们将所有的情感能量都用来保护自己不受伤难过,以致没有剩余的精力可以给别人。以前常年混迹父母皆祸害小组,也有一种想要改变父母的痛苦,但这和父母想改变我们没区别。努力不一定成功,放弃一定轻松。放弃他人用自己所爱的方式爱自己的幻想,放弃期待。
How to Keep House While Drowning Goodreads 谷歌图书
作者: K.C. Davis S&S/Simon Element 2022 - 4
How to Keep House While Drowning will introduce you to six life-changing principles that will revolutionize the way you approach home care—without endless to-do lists. Presented in 31 daily thoughts, this compassionate guide will help you begin to get free of the shame and anxiety you feel over home care.

Inside you will learn:
· How to shift your perspective of care tasks from moral to functional;
· How to stop negative self-talk and shame around care tasks;
· How to give yourself permission to rest, even when things aren’t finished;
· How to motivate yourself to care for your space.
2025年10月18日 已读
挺薄的一本,单纯对我帮助有限,适合因为家务做不好就beat yourself up的读者,讲心理卫生多过家庭卫生。家务实操部分,开篇部分讲家务就分五种对我启发最大,无非是trash/dish/laundry/物品归位/给东西找家,每次只做一种而不是clean as you go大概可以治愈我因multitasking而坏掉的脑子。这一part对眼里没活的人(aka我对象)不适用,因为意识不到有什么家务,完全没有这种困扰。也提到家务分配的问题,重点是都得到了休息,而且要区分是态度问题还是能力问题(nah I knew this, not helpful for me tho)
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents 豆瓣 Goodreads
9.2 (14 个评分) 作者: Lindsay C. Gibson New Harbinger 2015 - 6
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:
The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety
The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone
The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting
The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
2025年9月17日 已读
10星好评!不仅讲了如何识别和应对emotionally immature的家长,也提及了如何应对emotionally immature的朋友和伴侣,以及如何让自己变得emotionally mature,各方面都很有启发。很多人都是self occupied过头,要么因为自恋(世界得围着我转),要么因为低自尊(take everything too personally),或多或少无法see others,无法和人真正connect。最后的解决方式属于逃避可耻但是有用: identify emotionally immature ppl, release yourself from expecting them to change or build genuine relationship, limit interactions, or at least just focus on the outcome of the interaction, not the relationship itself. 很符合我今年断舍离的vibe,放下了很多,let it go挺好,不然就着相了。好书啊好书,可惜就算是把中文版送到家长面前,家长也不一定愿意读的。
Chinatown Pretty 豆瓣
作者: Valerie Luu / Andria Lo Chronicle Books 2020 - 9
Chinatown Pretty—the term we coined to describe this unique style—is a delightful mix of modern and vintage, high and low, bold patterns and colors, and contemporary streetwear—like Nike sneakers or a Supreme hat—that takes the outfit to a whole new level.
Sounds like a window display at Urban Outfitters, but it’s just a few of the outfits we’ve encountered on Chinatown pòh pohs (grandmas) and gùng gungs (grandpas).
-Andria Lo and Valerie Luu, authors and creators of @chinatownpretty and chinatownpretty.com
2025年6月28日 已读
street fashion + chinatown history + individual history 之前一直想读,前阵子图书馆刚好feature这本,缘分来了就一口气看完了。作者在北美几大华埠采访老人,从穿搭讲到个人史,加在一起就是北美华埠历史。之前在各地华埠博物馆、纽约移民博物馆也读过这些历史,但这本书有个人口述史的成分,所以印象更深。来北美的华人大概有三个阶段吧。第一批是淘金热、修铁路,大批劳工来北美,之后因排华法案、不能拥有property、无法通婚而形成bachelor society,直到二战后因为是ally而放缓管制。第二批是50年代左右,有台湾来的,也有大陆反右和饥荒等一系列天灾人祸逃来的。第三段是90年代,学运后和香港回归前。印象很深的是一位东南亚老人,因向往共产主义而决心去中国深造,在清华读书期间因反右运动被关了二十年,流转各地劳改,大难不死熬到毛时代结束,终政治避难到美国过晚年。九成老人都拒绝采访,能收录进书中还蛮不容易的。两位作者都是女生,一个负责写,一个负责拍。走访地有SF, LA, 曼哈顿, 芝加哥, 温哥华,除了芝加哥那个没去过,其他几个地方读起来还算有context,尤其是写温哥华华埠的opioid and housing issue就又亲切又无奈,哎。
太白金星有点烦 Goodreads 豆瓣
8.3 (182 个评分) 作者: 马伯庸 湖南文艺出版社 2023 - 6
太白金星李长庚最近有点烦。
天庭和西天联合推出了“西天取经”的重大项目,他受命策划九九八十一难,确保唐僧能安全走完流程,平稳取经成佛。老神仙本以为一切尽在掌控中,谁知天大的麻烦才刚刚开始:费用报销、工作汇报、人事安排、各路大仙塞来的条子、各地妖怪暗藏的心思,捋不出的千头万缕,做不完的琐碎繁杂……当大闹天宫的真相重新浮出水面,牵扯出无数因果,李长庚发觉自己成就金仙的道路越加渺茫。
【编辑推荐】
这是每一个成年人应该重读的西游故事。
太白金星李长庚最近有点烦。天庭和西天联合推出了“西天取经”的重大项目,他受命策划九九八十一难,确保项目无虞。老神仙本以为一切尽在掌控中,谁知天大的麻烦才刚刚开始。
项目过程中,如何报销活动费用?如何写工作汇报?如何平衡不同上级的诉求?如何应对突发状况?如何解决人事纠纷?一系列问题在不改变经典著作《西游记》结局的基础上展开了丰富有趣的职场生态,即便李长庚锦囊无数,也不免常常陷入焦虑。
都说神仙要“超脱因果,太上忘情”,都说不要在职场里动感情,太白金星却说,“很多人间执念我们无法理解,但不代表那些痛苦就不存在。”即使得了“仙”“佛”之号,依旧抛不下一个人字,有人,就有抛不下的牵挂、因果与苦乐得失。
打碎无意义的追逐,才是真的得道。
延续《长安的荔枝》小开本双封设计,随书附10张著名画家施晓颉所绘创意插图。
【媒体推荐】
地下取经队伍降妖除魔百般威武,天上神界仙界各怀心思斗智斗勇。现代视角另类演绎西游故事,就算成仙也得讲究职场智慧。
——《收获》杂志
2025年5月20日 已读
小时候的我是沉迷《悟空传》的,没想到中年时期会变成拍着大腿给《太白金星》叫好,蹉跎啊,唏嘘啊。
培梅食谱 谷歌图书
作者: 傅培梅 橘子文化事業有限公司 2004
This is the new and updated edition of one of the most popular Chinese cookbooks of all times by Taiwan's eminent master chef Fu Peimei. In Chinese/English. Distributed by Tsai Fong Books, Inc.
2025年5月4日 已读 美国没有食材,只能看一下过眼瘾
Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts 豆瓣 Goodreads
Oliver Burkeman
作者: Oliver Burkeman Farrar, Straus and Giroux 2024 - 10 其它标题: Meditations for Mortals
Meditations for Mortals takes us on a liberating journey towards a more meaningful life – one that begins not with fantasies of the ideal existence, but with the reality in which we actually find ourselves.

Addressing the fundamental questions about how to live, it offers a powerful new way to take action on what counts: a guiding philosophy of life Oliver Burkeman calls ‘imperfectionism’. How can we embrace our non-negotiable limitations? Or make good decisions when there’s always too much to do? What if purposeful productivity were often about letting things happen, not making them happen?

Reflecting on ideas drawn from philosophy, religion, literature, psychology, and self-help, Burkeman explores practical tools and shifts in perspective. The result is a bracing challenge to much familiar advice, and a profound yet entertaining crash course in living more fully.

To be read either as a four-week ‘retreat of the mind’ or devoured in one or two sittings, Meditations for Mortals will be a source of solace and inspiration, and an aid to a saner, freer, and more enchantment-filled life. In anxiety-inducing times, it is rich in truths we have never needed more.
2025年4月22日 已读
有几处还挺inspiring的,三到四月内心的平静都来自这本书了,可以缓解很多焦虑。
Bliss Montage 豆瓣 谷歌图书 Eggplant.place Goodreads
8.6 (10 个评分) 作者: Ling Ma Farrar, Straus and Giroux 2022 - 9
A new creation by the author of Severance , the stories in Bliss Montage crash through our carefully built mirages

What happens when fantasy tears through the screen of the everyday to wake us up? Could that waking be our end?

In Bliss Montage , Ling Ma brings us eight wildly different tales of people making their way through the madness and reality of our collective delusions: love and loneliness, connection and possession, friendship, motherhood, the idea of home. From a woman who lives in a house with all of her ex-boyfriends, to a toxic friendship built around a drug that makes you invisible, to an ancient ritual that might heal you of anything if you bury yourself alive, these and other scenarios reveal that the outlandish and the everyday are shockingly, deceptively, heartbreakingly similar.
2025年3月15日 已读
又魔幻又癫又迷的感觉,just vibes... 好几个故事就突然停那儿,戛然而止了,不是很喜欢这种感觉。有几篇想象力蛮丰富,和100个前男友住一起,yeti lovemaking,都蛮有意思。peking duck应该算最纪实的了,returning很神,可惜还完书发现漏看了office hour那一篇,有缘再会吧。移民身份翻来覆去写,看到后面有点乏了。我没想到能把这本看完的。
Love in a F*cked-Up World 豆瓣 Goodreads
作者: Dean Spade Algonquin Books 2025 - 1 其它标题: Love in a F*cked-Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together
We all know it takes guts and creativity to fight for justice. But how often do we put those same qualities to work in our most intimate relationships? In this inspiring self-help handbook, luminary trans activist and author of Mutual Aid Dean Spade dares us to be the change we want to see—both out in the world, and in our closest connections.
Around the globe, people are faced with spiraling crises, from the pandemic and climate change-induced disasters to the ongoing horrors of mass incarceration, racist policing, endemic gender violence, and severe wealth inequality. Many of us feel mobilized to organize and collectively combat these issues on both a personal and political level, often dedicating our lives to the fight for collective liberation.
But even those of us who long for change seem to have trouble when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Too often we think of our political values as outward-facing positions against dominant systems of power. Rarely, if ever, do we pursue the same kind of justice close to home, in our personal connections. Many activist projects and resistance groups fall apart because people treat each other poorly, trying desperately to live out the cultural myths about dating and relationships that we are fed from an early age.
How do we divest from the idea that one romantic partner will be the solution to all our problems? How do we separate our expectations of love from the troubling dynamics left to us by our parents? How do we bring our best thinking about freedom and justice into step with our desires for healing and connection?
Lifelong activist and educator Dean Spade dares us to decide that our interpersonal actions are not separate from our politics of liberation and resistance. Love in a F*cked-Up World is a resounding call to action and a practical manifesto for how to combat cultural scripts and take our relationships into our own hands, preparing us for the work of changing the world.
2025年3月4日 已读
SPL情人节周的peak picks推荐,瞄到的时候生怕只是讲浪漫爱,差点就没借了,好在它不是!作者是跨儿,视角比较inclusive n diverse,开头也是痛诉“错的不是瓦塔西 是阔诺塞该” 那一卦的,aka CBT不解决问题,因为是社会给大家灌输各种主义的错,要改变的不(仅)是我们的心态,而是这个社会(这半年借到的书都不约而同讲到这点lol)

后面的know-how部分可应用于各种关系,不管是浪漫爱、友谊、合作、社群,都可以apply,因为emotional awareness, communicate and handle sore spots, make and take feedbacks, apologize, break up, reconnect... 这些capabilities and skills都是共通的。

Relationship is a choice. Not every relationship needs to escalate. Relationships will hit bumps, transform, and even end - all valuable parts of being alive. We don't need others to be perfect for us to be safe, cuz we generate that safety by building our own awareness of what we want & need and our ability to communicate it to others.

True intimacy means we work to see each other not just through the projections of perfection and wish fulfillment (during the early phases) and then disappointment and blame (as conflict arrives), but instead as the complex, flawed, exquisitely gorgeous beings that we are.

通勤路上看的,喜欢到可能会买一本在家没事翻翻看。
How to Love: A Guide to Feelings and Relationships for Everyone: A Graphic Novel Goodreads 豆瓣
作者: Alex Norris Walker Books US 2023 - 11 其它标题: How to love
A guide for to dating, relationships, and identity—from a wildly popular web comic artist.

Isn’t it wonderful when love strikes? We connect with someone beautiful and interesting and suddenly— feelings . But what to do when that first crush levels you? When sparks fly and then fizzle? Or when love just . . . hurts? Aimed at both young people who are just starting out in their love lives and those with more experience seeking a fresh perspective, How to Love is a funny, wise, and unique full-color guide to relationships of all shapes and sizes by a popular web comic creator. Chatty and confessional, humorous and heartfelt, and inclusive of all genders and sexualities, this graphic handbook pairs a classic Q&A format with Alex Norris’s bright, accessible, and unmistakably clever meta comic style. Certain to resonate with teens and adults, this one-of-a-kind guide offers valuable insights on everything from first love to self-love and love ever after.
2025年3月4日 已读
柴在取书区隔壁的teenager区看到这本被推荐,就指给我看,我翻了两页觉得蛮有趣,于是带回家一口气看完了。超级可爱,很diverse,很inclusive,十五岁到五十岁都值得读。读到三分之一的时候觉得这个画风我认得,果然,这本书的作者就是我超爱的那本oh no的作者!!爱死了
How to Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days Goodreads
作者: Kari Leibowitz Penguin Life 2024 - 10
A blend of mindset science, original research, and cultural insights for cultivating a positive “wintertime mindset,” to vanquish winter blues and find joy and comfort in dark times year-round.

Do you dread the end of Daylight Saving Time and grouch about the long, chilly season of gray skies and ice? Do you find yourself in a slump every January and February? What if there were a way to rethink this time of year? Psychologist and winter expert Kari Leibowitz’s galvanizing How to Winter uses mindset science to help readers embrace winter as a season to be enjoyed, not endured—and in turn, learn powerful lessons that can impact our mental wellbeing throughout the year.

Kari Leibowitz moved above the Arctic Circle – where the sun doesn’t rise for two months each winter –expecting to research the season’s negative effects on mental health, only to find that inhabitants actually looked forward to it with delight and enthusiasm. Leibowitz has since travelled to places on earth with some of the coldest, darkest, longest and most intense winters, and discovered the power of “wintertime mindset”— viewing the season as full of opportunity and wonder. Impactful strategies for cultivating this wintertime mindset can teach us not just about braving the gray, cold months of the year, but also the darker and more difficult seasons of life.

• In Tromsø, Norway, people live in rhythm with nature, adapting to the months-long Polar Night by honoring seasonal fluctuations in energy, slowing down, and resting more.
• On the Isle of Lewis, off the coast of Scotland, communal gatherings around roaring fires embrace darkness and provide connection during long nights.
• In Yamagata, Japan, families sink into steaming onsen baths, banishing the chill of winter with healthful soaks that improve sleep and reduce risk of heart attack.

Inspired by cutting-edge psychological and behavioral science research as well as cultures worldwide that find warmth and joy in winter’s extremes, How to Winter provides readers with concrete tools for making winter wonderful wherever they live and harnessing the power of small mindset changes with big impact to help readers embrace every season of life.
2025年1月18日 已读
We suffer from living in a culture that is out of sync with yearly rhythms of light and dark. SAD is worsen by the culture obsessed with productivity. 东西合璧都说冬天要养、要藏、要maintenance,可大家都被迫成为社会螺丝钉,动植物那么多都冬眠,人类不被允许休息。错的不是瓦塔西,是阔诺塞该。中后段有大量CBT,对我不太受用(因为既没有对冬天的怨愤,也不喜欢CBT包治百名的那一套)。最后一小节终于提到除了改变心态,外界条件支持也很重要。以埃德蒙顿为例,讲了冬城如何从城市规划层面帮人过冬。书中贯穿了许多北欧城市范例,甚至也提到日本的被炉,千言万语都是劝诫喜欢high arousal的人接纳冬季可以带来稳稳的幸福。
The Inner Clock: Living in Sync with Our Circadian Rhythms Goodreads
作者: Lynne Peeples Riverhead Books 2024 - 9
How the groundbreaking science of circadian rhythms can help you sleep better, feel happier, and improve your overall health

Your body contains a symphony of tiny timepieces, synchronized to the sun and subtle signals in your environment and behavior. But modern insults like artificial light, contrived time zones, and late-night meals can wreak havoc on your internal clocks.

Armed with advances in biology and technology, a circadian renaissance is reclaiming those lost rhythms. The Inner Clock explores the emerging science and its transformative How could taking a walk in the morning and going to bed at the same time each night keep your body  in sync? Why are some doctors prescribing treatments at specific times of day? And how might a better understanding of our circadian rhythms improve educational outcomes, optimize sports performance, and support the longevity of our planet?

Science journalist Lynne Peeples seeks out the scientists, astronauts, athletes, and patients at the forefront of a growing movement. Along the way, she sleeps in a Cold War-era bunker, chases the midnight sun, spits into test tubes, and wears high-tech light sensors to decipher what makes our internal clocks tick and how we can reset them for the better.
2025年1月7日 已读
抒情版文献综述,看得累,可能是我不适合看science journalist写的东西。去backcountry日出而作、日落而息、远离电子屏是最健康的,彻底逃离social jetlag,和自己的inner clock align。朝九晚五霸权剥夺了许多人本有的节律,错的不是瓦塔西,是阔诺塞该。
无依之地 豆瓣 Goodreads
Nomadland:Surviving America In The Twenty-First Century
8.3 (12 个评分) 作者: [美]杰西卡·布鲁德 译者: 陈雅婷 江苏凤凰文艺出版社 2019 - 5
编辑推荐:
◎本书内容虽然是美国作者所写的这块大陆上的现实,但书中情形完全可以平行对照中国人数众多的背井离乡的打工族。
◎对“公路叙事”感到着迷的读者应该会来看这本书,但它同样适用于任何一位对我们目前的工作、生活、社会福利状况有关心、有期盼的人。
◎美国获奖记者杰西卡•布鲁德花费3年时间,跟随房车流浪者行驶15000多公里创作本书,本书具有纪实文学的天然优势。
◎既然你没法给自己涨工资,那不如砍掉最大的开销?不如牺牲固定的住所,换一个车轮上的生活?
◎这个国家在变化,旧有的结构在瓦解,而他们正站在新事物的正中央。
内容简介
在21世纪的美国,有这样一群人,他们迫于经济、住房、社会福利的压力,开着各式各样的改装房车,开始了在路上的生活……本书跟随并记录了若干“房车流浪者”的生活。作者在几乎横跨北美大陆的跋涉途中,与来自各个行业的人们邂逅,他们中有前大学教授、麦当劳副经理、议员、大学教务处职员以及交警,在与他们的或短暂或漫长的相处中,作者不断观察、思考,对这一新兴游牧阶层的出现和其背后深刻的社会经济变化作了深入细致的探讨。《无依之地》获得2017年度巴诺书店非虚构类新人奖。
2024年4月24日 已读
电影也就把原著浪漫化了八百倍吧。作为血汗工厂员工在被迫通勤的路上读这本书,更不是滋味。一旦碰到债务危机(比如次贷)、经济崩盘(比如大萧条)、生活重创(离婚或重病),很难不走上流浪之路,而美国各项制度传达的首要信息就是——你只能靠你自己了。遵循规则一辈子,最后什么保障都没有。比如比起养老金,实施401K对于企业来说要便宜得多,401K在快退休时崩掉的话,中产辛勤劳动一辈子也是一场空。亚马逊仓库喜欢这些老年临时劳动力,因为他们不会久居到组成工会,加上工作了一辈子,对工作有责任心,对福利保障要求不高,关键是亚马逊还能有税收优惠,因为雇佣弱势群体。能开车去流浪也是一种特权,比如白人可以随时上路,有色人种就没那么简单,因为很容易被居民举报,或被圈内人歧视。身为女性有色人种,要和书中被访者一样去流浪是奢侈的事情。个中感慨蛮多的,值得写一篇读后感,美中不足是翻译太差劲,挺可惜的。图书馆看到中文版就刚好借了,以后再看的话会看原版。
Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't Goodreads
Michael J. Losier 2004 - 10
"The Science of Attracting More of What You Want
and Less of What You Don't"

You may not be aware of it, but a very powerful force is at work in your life. It's called the Law of Attraction and right now it is attracting people, jobs, situations, and relationships in your life -- not all of them good! Now, with Michael Losier's help, you can learn how to use the Law of Attraction deliberately and turn it into a positive force that will change your life.

If your life feels as if it has turned south and taken on the characteristics of a bad soap opera, it's time to pick up Michael Losier's iLaw of Attraction/i. This simple, easy-to-use book is full of tips, tools,exercises and scripts to help you use the Law of Attraction so you can integrate this powerful force in your life every day.
2024年4月20日 已读
一直觉得吸引力法则神叨叨的,比如多年前超火的那本《秘密》。在二手书店看到这本书被feature,此书说吸引力法则是有科学依据的,遂拿起来翻看。书本身是很薄一本小册子,随便翻翻就能看完一半,回家后从图书馆借来电子版,花了两趟通勤的时间也就翻完了。有些部分我是真·地铁老爷爷看手机,但书中有些concept还挺有意思。核心观点是让读者认清自己要什么(可以先从认清自己不要什么入手),然后给这些desire positive attention。positive指的是,要说”要早睡早起健康生活“,而不是”不要熬夜“,要用肯定词来frame自己的desire,因为散发积极的vibe才会让宇宙回应正面的结果😅。至于如何给attention,就细化一些statement给自己反复洗脑,比如”我在追寻xxx的过程中,我喜欢xx是因为我听到/看到/感受到xx带来的某些体验很舒适。“ 之所以强调"in the proces of..."是为了make it sounds more true,不然自己也不信,阻碍吸引力法则的最大障碍就是自我怀疑。每当有一点成就,就celebrate,因为越有吸引力法则奏效的证据,自己就越信,经常庆功,就能成功😅。也提到不要焦虑为啥还没实现目标,吸引力法则本身会figure it out,啊和higher power那一套很像。我觉得总的来说,就是越明确自己要什么(having clarity for your desire),越专注于自己的目标(pay attention to your desire) ,越不内耗 (removing doubt),越频繁承认自己的进步(来build up faith towards achieving the desire),就越容易达到目标。嗯faith很重要,过分内耗会耗尽faith,也就不会去行动了。吸引力法则就是让人放下内耗和焦虑,找准目标就是干,不要被负面的vibe分心,积极行动,常怀感恩,尽人事听天命(图书馆这本书竟然要排队,之前借塔罗书也要排队,不愧是咱神叨叨西雅图……
Unfuck Your Burnout: How to Survive Your Overwhelming Life Goodreads
Microcosm Pub 2022 - 8
Are you stressed as fuck and you're not sure you can take it anymore? You're not alone. And it's very possible you're experiencing burnout--a legit mental health condition that's usually only regarded as being work-related, but that is 100% absolutely possible for anyone who is chronically stressed and overwhelmed with whatever they're doing in life, from school to parenting to activism to just existing during a pandemic. Dr. Faith gets it, and has been there, and offers an overview of what we understand about burnout and individual as well as relational strategies that really work for getting yourself out of it. Because, sure, sometimes you can fix burnout by taking a day off for self care, but usually it takes a more social-relational-level change--and that is totally possible!
2024年4月2日 已读
友送的小册子,昨天在公园晒晒太阳、看看山、看看海,慢慢读完了。Burnout的反面是Engagement,书里说CBT对burnout less helpful ,让我抗拒CBT Therapy的负罪感好受了一些。life sucks,宇宙的尽头是meditation,也难怪前人都去研究禅宗修道了。
How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships Goodreads
Harper Wave 2023 - 11
From the creator of The Holistic Psychologist and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Do the Work comes this paradigm-shifting guide to strengthen your relationships, beginning with the one you have with yourself. Relationships have long been essential to human survival. Our bodies and brains are programmed to seek out connection, both romantic and platonic. And yet, these vital bonds are often the at the root of some of our deepest suffering.  For decades, experts have posited that maintaining successful relationships requires a certain kind of compromise; of two people changing their behaviors and instincts to better meet the needs of the other. In theory, it sounds reasonable. But in reality, while feeling seen, valued, and loved are basic human yearnings, we can’t rely on others to make us feel whole—it must come from within. In How to Be the Love You Seek , New York Times bestselling author Dr. Nicole LePera—whose integrative, holistic approach to psychology has attracted an audience of millions—offers a new path to healing relationships. Harnessing the latest scientific research, she explains how the unmet needs rooted in our earliest relationships influence our connections in the present. It is only when we take responsibility for our unmet needs, she suggests, that we can begin to coexist with others in a healthy, loving way.  Whether the relationship at issue is with a spouse or partner, a parent, a sibling, a child, a friend, or a colleague—Dr. LePera teaches us how identify the wounds and conditioning that underlie discord and disconnection and begin to heal in mind and body. Complete with stories, exercises, journal prompts, and other practical guidance, How to Be the Love You Seek is poised to become an instant classic, and the go-to relationship resource for a new generation.
2024年4月2日 已读
3.8星的样子。读起来像一本relationship科研文献综述,洋洋洒洒夹杂很多实例,看多了觉得蛮啰嗦,如果把车轱辘精简一下的话,全书厚度可以缩减一半。只有最后两三章的内容对我是新知,所以前面大半本都显得less helpful,以至于整体低于预期。最好笑的是,每看到一种应激类别,都会忍不住把身边的人对号入座然后频频点头,身边的案例比书里生动多了……