Anguished English is the impossibly funny anthology of accidental assaults upon our common language. From bloopers and blunders to Signs of the Times to Mixed-Up Metaphors . . . from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers . . . it's a collection that will leave you roaring with delight and laughter.

Help

Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

Two-Headed

Grandmother of eight makes hole in one!

Doctor testifies in horse suit.

Modern-Day

I suffer from a deviant septum.