The nephew of a librarian must go collect a 200 year old book, "The Book of Ulthar." that should have never been checked out by the Evil Count Orlock cause one of the spells in it could bring about the end of the world. During his trip to the castle, he meets Marissa, a gorgeous rock star and heir to the castle's fortune. There they must confront the only other heir to the fortune and the book, Uncle Byron; and Uncle Byron and his 3 adopted nieces all have very, very, very broad smile.

Harry Williams, member of the rhythm & blues band, Bloodstone, is about to go onstage for a concert when he is hit on the head. The rest that follows is his dream. The four band members become conductors on a train filled with characters and (impersonated) actors from the 1930s, such as W.C. Fields, Dracula, and Scarlett O'Hara. Various songs are featured. The singing conductors are obliged to solve a mystery; Marlon Brando is murdering Nelson Eddy, Jeanette McDonald and others by suffocating them in his armpits. A wacky funeral, a fight with a gorilla, and the threat of being turned into a wax museum figure are all part of Harry's dream.

After his wife is kidnapped by a group of White supremacists, a record producer teams up with a PR man and a martial artist to get her back and put a stop to their plot to poison the water supply with a toxin that only kills Black people.

本片由导演伍迪·艾伦亲自出演，全片以章回的形式共提出了七个问题，分别触及了七个敏感而又令人尴尬的性的话题。依次分别是：“要春药吗？”、“何谓兽奸？”、“女人性冷感之迷中”、“同性恋异装癖”、“什么叫性异常”、“性学博士的实验可信吗？”、“射精时会怎样”。虽然不像武林秘笈中的某某宝典一样，传授的是不二法门的独家心法，但这部宝典还是力争做到百科全书一样的全面和权威。全片以章回的形式共提出了七个问题，也自然而然地分成了七段，它们分别触及了七个敏感而又令人尴尬的性的话题。