A diamond is stolen at a houseboat party given by the district attorney. He gives the thief a chance to return it by putting an empty box on a table and turning out the lights. When the lights are turned back on the box is gone, and the district attorney has a knife in his back and is quite dead. The police and the coroner arrive. There are several attempts made on the life of the coroner. Ruth Whitman is found hiding in a grandfather-clock, holding the gem box. She claims the box was pushed into her hands and she was pushed into the clock. The district attorney's butler/valet tells the coroner he saw who killed his employer and a few minutes later he is also murdered. The mystery deepens.

Two thieves discover a professional and personal relationship when individual heist plans are thrown together by circumstance.

The story of two lads from Belfast as they stumble their way through the London gay underworld in search of 'gainful employment'. This being the offering of sexual favours to older gay men in order to subsidise their respective giros. 9 Dead Gay Guys is a high-camp send-up of gay stereotypes.