***The Instant National Bestseller***

A Next Big Idea Club must-read title for January 2024

The definitive, paradigm-shifting guide to healing intergenerational trauma—weaving together scientific research with practical exercises and stories from the therapy room—from Dr. Mariel Buqué, PhD, a Columbia University–trained trauma-informed psychologist and practitioner of holistic healing

From Dr. Mariel Buqué, a leading trauma psychologist, comes this groundbreaking guide to transforming intergenerational pain into intergenerational abundance. With Break the Cycle, she delivers the definitive guide to healing inherited trauma. Weaving together scientific research with practical exercises and stories from the therapy room, Dr. Buqué teaches readers how trauma is transmitted from one generation to the next and how they can break the cycle through tangible therapeutic practices, learning to pass down strength instead of pain to future generations.

When a physical wound is left unhealed, it continues to cause pain and can infect the whole body. When emotions are left unhealed, they similarly cause harm that spreads to other parts of our lives, hurting our family, friends, community members, and others. Eventually, this hurt can injure an entire lineage, metastasizing across years and generations. This is intergenerational trauma.

This trauma is why some of us become estranged from our families, why some of us are people pleasers, why some of us find ourselves in codependent relationships. This trauma can be rooted in the experiences of ancestors, who may have suffered due to unhealthy family dynamics, and it can be collective, the result of a shared experience like systemic oppression, or harmful ingrained behaviors in a culture like the acceptance of physical discipline of children, or even a natural disaster like a pandemic. These wounds are complex, impacting our minds, bodies, and spirits. Healing requires a holistic approach that has so far been absent from the field of psychology. Until now.

Worry happens. Worrying is optional. We live in an increasingly uncertain world, and if you struggle with worry, you aren’t alone. You should also know that there’s nothing wrong with worry. Worry happens to all of us—and it can even be helpful at times. But excessive worrying—the kind that keeps us up at night, interferes with our thinking during the day, and hijacks our ability to make decisions—is a big, big problem. The good news is that, while worry is inevitable, worrying is completely optional. This book will show you how to break free from the unhelpful thinking habits that keep you stuck in a loop of rumination and anxiety. With help from this upbeat guide, you’ll learn to build your own customizable, anti-worrying toolbox using skills and strategies from metacognitive therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). You’ll discover the science behind why you worry, and how to put the brakes on unhelpful rumination and anxious thoughts—before they kick your worry and anxiety into high gear. With this go-to guide, you will: Gain a better understanding of worry Learn why worry happens Know when to draw the line at disruptive worrying Challenge perfectionism and accept uncertainty   There’s no one-size-fits-all treatment for anxiety and worry, but by assembling an arsenal of tools, skills, and strategies, excessive worry can be managed effectively. This book will help you get started now.

In this fascinating narrative, therapist Catherine Gildiner's presents five of what she calls her most heroic and memorable patients. Among them: a successful, first generation Chinese immigrant musician suffering sexual dysfunction; a young woman whose father abandoned her at age nine with her younger siblings in an isolated cottage in the depth of winter; and a glamorous workaholic whose narcissistic, negligent mother greeted her each morning of her childhood with Good morning, Monster.<br /><br />Each patient presents a mystery, one that will only be unpacked over years. They seek Gildiner's help to overcome an immediate challenge in their lives, but discover that the source of their suffering has been long buried.<br /><br />As in such recent classics as <i>The Glass Castle</i> and <i>Educated</i>, each patient embodies self-reflection, stoicism, perseverance, and forgiveness as they work unflinchingly to face the truth. Gildiner's account of her journeys with them is moving, insightful, and sometimes very funny. <i>Good Morning Monster</i> offers an almost novelistic, behind-the-scenes look into the therapist's office, illustrating how the process can heal even the most unimaginable wounds.

All the big ideas, simply explained - an innovative and accessible guide to the study of human nature "The Psychology Book" clearly explains more than 100 groundbreaking ideas in this fascinating field of science. How does the brain remember faces? What makes us choose one decision over another? Where does language come from? With the use of powerful and easy-to-follow images, quotations from all the major thinkers, and explanations that are easily understandable, this book demystifies hard-to-grasp concepts and shows how these have shaped our knowledge of the human mind. All the schools of psychology are covered from cognitive to behavioural psychology making this ideal for students or for anyone with a general interest in this popular area. If you're fascinated by the human mind then "The Psychology Book" will get you thinking.

【编辑推荐】
★中国大陆引进首部完整分析“煤气灯操控”的重量级经典心理学作品。
★煤气灯操纵的本质是双方共同打造的一种关系，因此它被称为“煤气灯探戈”。它表现为情感虐待、情感操纵、PUA……
★全面解读婚姻、职场、家庭中无所不在的精神操控，6点计划、5种方法 教你快速识别并摆脱毒性关系。
★作者具有权威背景。美国耶鲁大学情商中心联合创始人、心理分析师，罗宾·斯特恩博士奠基之作。30年实践经验大公开；出版10年，依旧经典。
★这本书帮助不计其数的人找回了自尊和力量。
★“煤气灯效应”一词来源于1944年美国上映的一部知名老电影《煤气灯下》，该片主要讲述了钢琴师安东作为丈夫，通过不断对妻子宝拉进行精神操控从而使其发疯，以霸占其所继承的财产的故事。
★心理学界知名作者和国际媒体力荐。中信畅销书《情商》作者丹尼尔·戈尔曼重磅推荐。国际媒体包括《今日心理学》、《赫芬顿邮报》、时代网、《华盛顿邮报》、《国会山报》和《哈佛商业评论》等。
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【内容提要】
你努力改变自己，希望成为好伴侣、好员工、好儿女，却始终无法获得肯定。
也许这不是因为你还不够好，而是你无意识地被操控了……
你对自己的看法往往来自周围人的评价？你是否总在向父母、伴侣和领导道歉？你的父母数落你的穿着、工作、朋友还有交往对象，你却反思也许他们的意见都是对的？你很难做出简单的决定，并且经常自我怀疑？
如果你也符合以上的情形，小心！你很可能已经被“煤气灯操纵”了！
“煤气灯操纵”是一种阴险的情感虐待和操纵形式，很难识别，甚至很难摆脱。这是因为它触发了我们内心无比恐惧的诱因——被遗弃；还触发了我们内心深切的被理解、被赏识和被爱的需求。
在这本开创性的著作中，拥有超过30年心理咨询经验的知名心理治疗师罗宾·斯特恩博士向你展示了煤气灯操纵的运作模式，从认清煤气灯操纵的三个阶段，到停止煤气灯操纵的五种方法，以及你该如何决定哪些关系还有救、哪些需要尽早离开的判断准则。只要提高警觉、保持坦诚、学会求助，你便可以立刻终止这些“毒性关系”。你也会发现，你值得对自己更好一点！
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你被煤气灯操纵了吗？
启动你的煤气灯检测雷达查看以下几个报警信号：
1.你反复质疑自己。
2.你每天数十次地问自己：“我是不是太敏感了？”
3.你经常在工作的时候感到困惑，甚至有些失去理智。
4.你总在向父母、男友和领导道歉。
5.你经常考虑自己是不是一个合格的女友、妻子、员工、朋友或女儿。
6.你想不明白，为什么生活里有那么多精彩的事，你却总是不够开心。
7.你给自己买衣服、给自己的公寓买家具，或者买其他的个人用品时，脑子里却一直考虑的是他喜欢什么，而不是自己喜欢什么。
8.你经常在朋友和家人面前为伴侣找借口。
9.你发现自己开始对朋友和家人隐瞒某些信息，这样你就不用再对他们解释，或者在他们面前找借口。
10.你知道出了严重的问题，但你就是没办法表达清楚，甚至连自己也搞不清原因。
11.为了躲避伴侣贬低你的言语和对现实的扭曲，你开始撒谎。
12.你连简单的事都拿不定主意。
13.你在闲谈时也要三思。
14.在伴侣回家之前，你会先在脑子里过一遍自己这一天做错了哪些事情。
15.你觉得自己现在和以前大不相同——以前更自信、更爱玩、更放松。
16.你开始通过丈夫的秘书和他对话，这样你就不用直接告诉他那些可能会让他不开心的事。
17.你觉得自己做什么都不对。
18.你的孩子开始在你的伴侣面前保护你。
19.你发现开始对一向相处愉快的人发火。
20.你感到绝望，郁郁寡欢。
煤气灯操纵存在于任何关系中，可能是伴侣、雇主、亲戚或朋友。
如果你符合以上其中几点，那么你务必要翻开这本书。
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【名人推荐】
从社会智能的角度，这本书提供给读者辨识并且对抗情绪虐待的方法……它点亮了一盏明灯，指引人们远离关系的阴暗面。
──《情商》作者／丹尼尔·戈尔曼
本书极富同情心且无比坦诚，这本书就像我们在艰难处境中，遇到的一位性格坚定、实话实说的朋友。罗宾·斯特恩会让你知道，在这些毒性关系中你并非孤身一人，她会帮助你辨识自身扮演的角色，以及该如何改变现状，最终你将成为更强大、更有智慧的人！
──《古怪女孩》作者／雷切尔·西蒙斯
本书是求生的必要工具。心理治疗师罗宾·斯特恩以清晰、舒心且练达的语调，循序渐进地带着她遭受心理虐待的读者踏上旅程，帮助他们找回对生活和命运的掌控力。
──《女人何苦为难女人》作者／菲莉丝·切斯勒博士
强而有力的指南，清楚地说明这种隐性操纵于公于私所带来的恶果。
──经济学家、《让世界看见你》作者／席薇雅·安·惠列
她杜绝情感操纵的策略既实际又可执行，将重点放在提升自尊并且设想可能的结果……强烈推荐！
──图书馆杂志
清楚有力地点出经常被忽略的议题──情感虐待……我非常确定这本书将会改善许多人的生活。
──美国学业、社会与情绪学习合作协会／琳达·蓝提艾里
罗宾·斯特恩博士是当今极为聪慧的女子之一，我们能从她身上学到许多。
──《怕飞》作者／埃丽卡·容

The sequel to the global bestseller The Courage To Be Disliked, the Japanese phenomenon in applying twentieth-century psychology to contemporary dilemmas continues with life-changing advice on finding happiness.
_______________________________________________________________________________
In The Courage To Be Happy, Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga again distil their wisdom into simple yet profound advice to show us how we, too, can use twentieth-century psychological theory to find true happiness.
ON THE COURAGE TO BE DISLIKED:
The ideas proffered here will certainly make you think twice about the real cause of the emotional drama in your life. A thought-provoking read. - Mail on Sunday.
A real game-changer - Marie Claire.

因为“不敢”幸福。幸福意味着要拒绝他人的期待，独自确认自己的价值。正如阿德勒所说，人只有在感觉自己有价值的时候，才能获得勇气！
日本哲学家岸见一郎与阿德勒心理学相遇，自1989年至今逾30年。在《被讨厌的勇气》 中，作者以哲人与年轻人的思想辩论展示了阿德勒心理学的能量。在《被拒绝的勇气》中，作者运用阿德勒心理学为众人解答困惑：成功和幸福到底有什么不同，摆脱社会期待的方法是什么，怎么做才能够打破社交恐惧症、在非理性的情感关系里如何自处。
如果说一切烦恼都来自于人际关系，岸见一郎用《被拒绝的勇气》给出了解决烦恼的答案：想要真正的幸福，唯有用艰难的拒绝代替简单的从众。

全球存在主义心理学研究专家年度力作，耶鲁大学推荐必读。
缺爱的人的典型表现：
1. 做事前，会想别人的反应，做事时，会主动迎合他人的期待；
2．容易动摇自己的原则，可能自己已经非常不愉快了，但不会表现出来；
3. 希望自己得到认同和存在感；
4. 不懂得拒绝。
本书从存在主义心理学角度，解释了现代人的“缺爱”其实是存在感的缺失，指出我们没有安全感、极度渴望得到别人的肯定和认同的原因，帮助我们重新定义存在的意义和自我价值，找到自己的闪光点，骄傲自信地活下去。

社会心理学是探讨人性最深入的学科。这本书展示了28个有趣的社会心理学实验，如米尔格拉姆的服从权威实验、阿希的从众实验。这些实验大大提升了我们对人类社会心理和行为的理解。每一章不仅侧重于某一项研究的具体内容和研究意义，还引用了相关研究和生活实例。所有章节相互独立，读者们可以按任意顺序阅读，无需担心会失去阅读的连贯性。第二版包含了许多新研究；并且采用的是生动、对话式的风格。本书不仅可作为读者学习社会心理学、心理学导论或研究设计课程的理想教材，对于普通读者洞察人性、反思自我、思考社会现象都能提到醍醐灌顶之效。

有2018年10月5印本

The "New York Times" Bestseller, acclaimed by author such as Freakonomics co-author Steven D. Levitt, Black Swan author Nassim Nicholas Taleb and Nudge co-author Richard Thaler, "Thinking Fast and Slow" offers a whole new look at the way our minds work, and how we make decisions. Why is there more chance we'll believe something if it's in a bold type face? Why are judges more likely to deny parole before lunch? Why do we assume a good-looking person will be more competent? The answer lies in the two ways we make choices: fast, intuitive thinking, and slow, rational thinking. This book reveals how our minds are tripped up by error and prejudice (even when we think we are being logical), and gives you practical techniques for slower, smarter thinking. It will enable to you make better decisions at work, at home, and in everything you do.

A pioneering researcher and one of the world's foremost experts on traumatic stress offers a bold new paradigm for healing
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children.
Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain's wiring-specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies. Based on Dr. van der Kolk's own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy-and a way to reclaim lives.

《自卑与超越》是个体心理学奠基人阿尔弗雷德·阿德勒晚期的重要作品。全书从自卑这一基础情感出发，深入剖析其对个人家庭、教育、职业、婚姻、交际等多个领域的影响，以及对童年、青春期、成年等不同人生阶段的阻碍。作者详细分析了影响人格形成的内外因素，为个体的自我认知、兴趣发展、未来规划提供了具体可行的指导性方法。帮助个人摆脱自卑情结与自我局限，成就更有价值的人生。